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anklan
Scenario: Kato Kaelin
Appeared: Website
July-August '99
anklan
Hello and welcome to my web site.  The guy's from Mules & Vaughn asked me to do a selection for them.  Me, being locked up at the lovely Shady Palms Clinic was more than eager to jump on the band wagon. Especially, if it got me out of dancing with Steve, the midget who believe he's the star of Roots. Anyway, yes, it's true.  I have a hobby...and it is sticking things in my ass. Mules & Vaughn approached me on doing it as a series for them.  And I thought, "hey, if  Calista Flockhart can get a series...well then so can I!"   Anyway, before I tallied off there, the boys at M&V have me rate what I have in my ass...so it back and read what I do.  And thanks...and if you can mail me a lovely soft pillow...that would be great. 
anklan
Love, Timmy
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This Issue’s Featured Object:
Kato Kaelin!
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Click the Dick to find out. fu Since getting the gig here at M&V, I've been trying to give back to those less fortunate than I. Having said that, I've opened my range to a larger amount of items I can "donate to science" if you know what I mean...and I got an immediate reply from this blonde from Brentwood.  Not just any blonde...The Blonde From Brentwood, Mr. Kaelin. When he stopped by, I was already buzzing from the KoolAid and NyQuil mix I had just drinken...I mean, I have a cold, but I like my drugs all pretty and tasty...so, I was quickly suckered into talking to Kato...and here is a few things we talked about. By the way, before I continue, did you know he did more things than lie about OJ, during his 15 minutes of fame? 
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His Current Job Status
Working on something with Yahoo Serious and Morgan Fairchild 
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His Current Home
Not Available
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Favorite Movie While Haven't Leaving My "Suite"
Wild, Wild West
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What He Liked Most About My "Suite"
The Shiny Blue Glass
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Favorite Saying
Need A Roommate?

His Current Goals 
Get More From His Talk Soup Residual Checks
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His Current Future Plans For Money 
Write Another Article For Food
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Most Annoying Thing He's Done Since Coming Over Here
Has Talked About Him. Just Me Me Me! 
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Biggest  Brag 
He Was On TV
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So, finally, I got him up into my ass.  He made himself right at home...and even began to take up residence.   I couldn't believe it!  The guy rearranged my colon, tossed some things around, added the Clapper, and he was here.  Carrying him around was rather revolting.  Oh well...it's the things I do!   What pissed me off about the entire ordeal, is the fact he stayed for an extended period of time. Usually, I insert things in my ass...and stayed nearly 3 months!  You thought this was something I was bragging about...but we started this interview session back in April! Argh...I'll have to flush everything out, and start again new. 
anklan
Pleasure Rating: 8
Pain Rating: 2
Pain is kind of Pleasurable Rating:
anklan
Additional Comments:
I really can't put my finger on which was worse, him moving into my colon...or the fact he hogged my bathroom.   Nevermind the fact he never paid for rent, and I've got long distance calls up the ass(no pun or cleverly hidden humor on that statement...he actually ran calls up into my ass and it costs me a lot). 
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