Scenario: Kato Kaelin
Appeared: Website
July-August '99

Hello and welcome to my web site.  The guy's from Mules & Vaughn asked me 
to do a selection for them.  Me, being locked up at the lovely Shady Palms Clinic
was more than eager to jump on the band wagon. Especially, if it got me out 
of dancing with Steve, the midget who believe he's the star of Roots. 
Anyway, yes, it's true.  I have a hobby...and it is sticking things in my ass. 
Mules & Vaughn approached me on doing it as a series for them.  And I thought,
"hey, if  Calista Flockhart can get a series...well then so can I!"   Anyway, before
I tallied off there, the boys at M&V have me rate what I have in my it back
and read what I do.  And thanks...and if you can mail me a lovely soft pillow...that
would be great. 
                                                       Love, Timmy 

This Issue’s Featured Object:
Kato Kaelin!

Click the Dick to find out. fu Since getting the gig here at M&V, I've been trying
to give back to those less fortunate than I. 
Having said that, I've opened my range to a larger 
amount of items I can "donate to science" if you
know what I mean...and I got an immediate reply
from this blonde from Brentwood.  Not just any 
blonde...The Blonde From Brentwood, Mr. Kaelin. 
When he stopped by, I was already buzzing from
the KoolAid and NyQuil mix I had just drinken...I
mean, I have a cold, but I like my drugs all pretty 
and, I was quickly suckered into talking 
to Kato...and here is a few things we talked about.
By the way, before I continue, did you know he did
more things than lie about OJ, during his 15 
minutes of fame? 
His Current Job Status
Working on something with 
Yahoo Serious and Morgan 

His Current Home
Not Available 

Favorite Movie While Haven't Leaving My "Suite" 
Wild, Wild West 

What He Liked Most About My "Suite" 
The Shiny Blue Glass 

Favorite Saying 
Need A Roommate?

His Current Goals 
Get More From His Talk 
Soup Residual Checks 

His Current Future Plans For Money 
Write Another Article For Food 

Most Annoying Thing He's Done Since 
Coming Over Here 
Has Talked About Him. 
Just Me Me Me! 

Biggest  Brag 
He Was On TV

So, finally, I got him up into my ass.  He made himself right at home...and even
began to take up residence.   I couldn't believe it!  The guy rearranged my colon,
tossed some things around, added the Clapper, and he was here.  Carrying him
around was rather revolting.  Oh's the things I do!   What pissed me off 
about the entire ordeal, is the fact he stayed for an extended period of time. Usually,
I insert things in my ass...and stayed nearly 3 months!  You thought this was
something I was bragging about...but we started this interview session back in April! 
Argh...I'll have to flush everything out, and start again new. 

Pleasure Rating: 8
Pain Rating:
Pain is kind of Pleasurable Rating:

Additional Comments:
I really can't put my finger on which was worse, him moving into my colon...or the
fact he hogged my bathroom.   Nevermind the fact he never paid for rent, and I've 
got long distance calls up the ass(no pun or cleverly hidden humor on that statement...he actually ran calls up into my ass and it costs me a lot).