||The Check Up
||Issue No. 3
We at Mules & Vaughn
have always taken a great interest in the health and
well-being of our staffers,
thus we're happy to foot the bill for thrice weekly
proctologic exams for our
very own “Timmy, The Anal Volunteer”.
The integrity of Timmy's
rectal lining is very important to everyone around here,
and we would hate to think
of his tender tunnel taking so much abuse without
proper medical care.
Recently, we thought it would
make a great human interest piece if Timmy were to
draw upon his extensive
experience at the doctor's office to provide us with a list of
ten burning, sensitive,
highly inflammatory questions he hopes, unlike himself, that
you never have to ask while
undergoing this exam.
After a bit of cajoling ,
a sound lashing with a knotted cedar cane, and two weeks in
the box, Timmy heartily
agreed to provide us with the list that follows.
In no particular order:
Why three fingers?
When I asked for “a little lube”, why did you spit in my asshole?
Do these exams normally take an hour and fifteen minutes?
Can I take my feet out of these stirrups while you're having that cigarette?
Are missionary, doggie style, and reverse cowgirl all completely necessary
order to achieve accurate results?
How does it help the test if I keep calling you “Jesse” in a low, throaty
Is that a camera over in the corner?
Why do I have to wear a cock ring?
What do you mean when you say “Shut up! I'm almost there!”?
10. Are you going to charge
me extra for the reach around?blank